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Saturday, 02 May 2009

  • freestyle.

    if i wasn't me, i would make a movie out of my life and go to opening night.
    i'd see every showing and have to take notes just to understand the premise.
    my lugs feel like they're going to colla[se and i got pins and needles in my back.
    my head isn't screwed on straight, cause i've been having jumbled thoughts of late.
    everytime his eyes lock with mine, i start shaking.
    i go through every imagine/scenario/word i'm got in my mine;
    verbal fights, gun fights, late nights, bright lights, wide eyes, loose ties, lonely heavy sighs, and ancient lies.
    we close our eyes and whisper goodnight.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

  • untitled.

    the pace of my heart picks up
    as nervous knots build in my body.
    moving out of orbit, the sun scorches
    my skin, forever imprinting this moment
    on my exterior.
    but my interior is dying.
    decaying & decomposing.
    i can't seem to keep up.
    my tongue trips over my sentences
    like me feet fumble
    stumbling one after the other.
    like alice down the rabbit-hole
    i'm falling.
    i'm crumpled at the bottom
    of the stairs.
    for the life of me, i can't
    remember your face anymore.
    my heart is deflating.
    i just want to be calm
    so i can control the shaking in
    my extremities.
    i wish my words to be immortal.
    hold infinity in the palm of your hands,
    & the inevitable in the gleam of your eyes.

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

  • dear disney;

    i am the worst attributes of the scarecrow, tinman and lion combined.
    i don't have the mind to know what i need to.
    i don't have the heart to feel what i want to.
    & i don't have the courage to stand up for what i believe in.
    the city skyline somehow resembles the emerald city.
    i can find it all here.
    it's embedded somewhere, if only i would push & pull for it.
    but instead i candy coat every sentence & act like my throat is encrusted with diamonds.
    the words that come out of my mouth should be put on display.
    i give myself such a false sense of security when everything is falling apart around me.
    like some picture perfect movie made by disney.
    but the teaparty with the mad hatter ends.
    wendy, john & michael eventually leave neverland.
    mowglii leaves baloo for a girl & mufasa never comes home.
    there are always evil stepmothers, witches & mirror, mirrors on the wall.
    the happily ever afters are supposed to supply hope.
    i open up my chest, to see if some hope filled heart has appeared
    but it's full of blood, crimson letters spelling out, "dear life, i love you"
    a splatterpainted scoreboard raning from red to hues of violet
    as we made ourselves more colorful throughout the night.
    without some form of courage, i hid under the covers
    afraid no one will save me.
    i don't have the knowledge to tell me i can save myself.
    ©LAURENALLOVER

    This is a poem I wrote for english class.  I took bits and pieces from old poems but mostly it's original.  You just all need to be lucky that I actually wrote a poem.

Tuesday, 06 January 2009

  • my stomach's like an elevator; it just dropped to the basement.

    I haven't written an actual poem over a month. I just can't seem to put pen to paper & let the words flow. No matter the time, date, mood; nothing good ever comes out.  With my mind racing last night, I decided I might go back to the way I used to do things a good two years ago - just write down half comprehensible lines & let words seep out.  It's my own therapy, complaining to an anonymous world.

    Had this thought, of three rhyming lines.  I was going to copyright it, make it something perfect & lyrical.  Now for the life of me, I can't remember a sinlge syllable.  Wearing earings of little storm clouds & carrying the weather with me.  It doesn't change the stormy mood though.  My schedule is spinning out of control, & I can't get a firm grip on anything.  Like a carousel or a tilt-a-whirl, at high speed.  You keep your eyes open the whole ride, but you can't make out the images spinning.  Attempting to focus, to actually notice what's flying by, but it seems impossible.  The date on the calender continues to move, time closing in on days I don't want to live.  There are infinite reminders typed up in my phone, keeping me up to date with all I have to do & it seems unlikely I'll get it all done.  & I wish I live forever.  Have an eternity to perfect life.  I would never make a mistake, or have my heartbroken, or know what it's like to have regrets.  Time wouldn't mean a thing, because each day would be exactly the same routine.  My feet are anchored to this west coast soil, but all I was is to be uprooted & replanted somewhere new.  There is nothing offered here for me.  I hate the weather, and how nothing seems to suffice.  My heart is aching for something more.  Something borrowed, something new, nothing old, somewhere blue.  Where sunsets fall over crashing oceans, and the force of waves can imitate the way my heart is breaking.  & I've given up on the human race, because I see no point in competing. Even if you take first place, there is no gold trophy, or medal waiting for you at the finish line.  So, even if I'm the best, there's no motivation.  We go with luck & just keep rolling the dice.

    ©LAURENALLOVER

Monday, 01 December 2008

  • wherever we are.

    lights off & heartbeats up, we stare into the distance.
    watching powerlines pass as we count each mile.
    sharing easy smiles & sliding hands closer & closer until they're intertwined.
    the back seats of cars become our bed.
    laying together as neon lights merge, city after city becoming one fluid landscape.
    keep you owl eyes wide, seeing those kaleidoscope sights.
    waiting for you, no matter what it costs.
    we just head back to where this began.
    following city signs back to what you consider your hometown.
    reaching for comfort in the words you're saying.
    because the phonelines only stretch so far.
    i think of you as i lay in my empty room, falling asleep alone.
    battling the night, just so the sun case rise & i can hear your voice for the first time today.
    we'd be sharing kisses until the sun went down.
    i want to escape to the ocean.
    hid there forever so we never had to say goodbye.
    we'd write each others name in the sand with a heart inbetween.
    summer wouldn't ever need to end.

    ©LAURENALLOVER

LaurenAllOver

  • Visit LaurenAllOver's Xanga Site
    • Name: LaurenAllOver
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 6/7/2008

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About Me

  • I LIKE: my crocodile boy, scrubs, my sweet 16 necklace, cupcakes, my friends, icees, audrey kitching, early concerts, hair dye, four hour phone calls, giving and getting (mostly getting) massages, flirting, good hair days, sleeping in, pancakes, top ramen, my "big sister" carrie, double chocolate chip frappichinos, glamour kills clothing, flattery, wildberry skittles, sharing music, acoustic videos, unsuspected phone calls, hot pink, project runway, bo burnham, scarves, dane cook, the original string doll collection, english class, talking about baby names, lava lamps, sitting with the lights out, buying unnessicary things, my heirloom wedding ring, christmas, getting the mail, voicemails to listen to in the morning, warm blankets, cuddling, the zoo, "that's what she said" jokes, reading for hours, my collection of journals, warm weather, any flavor of vitamin water, hours of aim conversations, sleeping in past the alarm, conversations with my mama, poetry & being in love.

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